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This isn’t fun anymore.

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Bye bye bread flour!
No bread was harmed in the creating of this post. None was baked, either.

This isn’t fun anymore. You know. This whole going-gluten-free-thing.

There are a lot of gluten-containing foods that I’m missing right now, ever since going gluten-free earlier this month. It hasn’t been a full entire week, not even a FULL WEEK, and I’m jonesing hardcore for some gluten. On the positive side, I’ve yet to fall victim to a migraine this week, which has been really nice – whether it was related to going GF or not.

Okay. To be honest, I’m kind of irritated at gluten today. WHY does it have to taste so GOOD? It would be SO much simpler to do away with if it was simply the key ingredient in, say, livers and gizzards or something. But no. Gluten it everywhere. Everywhere. Not just contaminating many foods, but more deviantly, and arguably more importantly, BLATANTLY TEMPTING ME. I find this unforgivable.

Maybe I should’ve felt more empathy for my son all those years ago when we took him off gluten.

Anyways. Here are some of the things that I’m missing today, and pitifully so. Just so you know, tomorrow I will actively start searching for recipes and ways to recreate the objects of my severe case of foodlust. But today? I’m in mourning.

To start with? Artisan fresh baked bread. The kind with all the holes inside that are the perfect vessels for roasted garlic dipping oil and the floury coated crust and the taste. The crumb. The scents. The weight and loft. Even those darling little slices cut into the dough when it was set to rising. Ahh, we shared such memories. Now, those memories are torture.

Pizza Hut pan pizza is close to the top of my list. What? Don’t judge! The lofty pillow-like crust that tastes like it has been bathed in pure oil and fat and it almost melts in my mouth. The scent that smacks a person when they walk into the door of a Pizza Hut would overpower me right now. Easily. One pizza peel behind its back. It’s the smell that transports me back to my childhood, of pizza parties and the Book-It! Program as well as the sheer glee of savoring a little individual pizza pie pan full of deliciousness that was mine, all mine!

The huge Italian meatballs I used to make that took all day and used country white bread crumbs are on the list. Though, this one isn’t so severe since I’ve found that some gluten-free breads work just as good. Hey, look! A hopeful thought just entered my gluten-free brain in the midst of this great sadness.

I used to make this awesome garlic-honey angel hair pasta creation that would transport me to another plane of existence with its lovely coupling of sweet honey and mellowed roasted garlic. I really ought to give some GF pastas a try. I really should. Perhaps when I come out of mourning. Maybe tomorrow. At some point in this, I’m gonna have to just suck it up and wipe my tears and repeat after Scarlett, “After all, tomorrow is another day.”

Flour tortillas still make my mouth water. I’m not talking about the store-bought ones here; I’m speaking of those homemade flour tortillas still warm. Puffy yet soft yet …well. Corn tortillas are okay, but don’t hold a candle to the fresh tortillas I can find here in Texas. Covered with shredded cheddar, fajita meat, or honey. These things were fantastic even plain. They’re that good.

McDonald’s quarter-pounder. Wow. Really? Yep. I know. They’re awful. But for some strange reason, the very thought of one makes my mouth water like someone is waving a juicy grilled ribeye right under my nose. Yes. I. Want. One. So. So. Badly. I have to leave the room during the QP commercials. *On a side note, the commercials for the McRib make me want to vomit. So, there’s that. Another positive thought in this angst! Well, kinda…

To finish out the list: curly fries, breaded chicken strips, English muffins, Kit-Kat Bars, croutons in my salads, and good old-fashioned homemade mac and cheese.

Really, most of these foods have GF substitutes. So perhaps I could embark on a quest for the most delicious replacements. Additionally, it seems that the things I crave the hardest today are actually not really the healthiest to begin with.

So there. That’s off my chest. Perhaps now I can let them go. Say goodbye. Bid them a final adieu. Start moving in a more positive direction. Who knows. I’m sure I’ll find some really great inventions and recipes and replacements out there.

After I’m done pouting, I mean.

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